Can men talk about their vulnerability? May they do so? In public, too?
The transition from boy to adult is for most men related to a loss of traits they struggle to regain later in life. The so called ‘soft skills’ demanded from modern business people are amongst them. Empathy, and authenticity, for example. Arno Greter is an executive from the corporate world and as a Reiki Teacher also active and successful ambassador for Reiki in this particular environment. He brings this aspect into this RTalk.
Although two decades apart, both discussants journeyed to the East as young men. In the conversation they discover that unbeknownst to them then, these trips were somewhat of a rite de passage. Both experienced that following your dream is one thing but life often provides reality-check and demands adjustments and changes. These are perceived as failures particularly if the self-definition of masculinity is dictated by ideas of strength, control and toughness. Confronting and dealing with this dynamic is the birth (re-birth actually) of a man accessing his own vulnerability.
While one can wallow in the ‘positive side’ of vulnerability, i.e. allowing oneself to be loved, to be tender and emotional, there is another side. It is “related to shame and fear, to feeling excluded”. Arno makes the point with his experiences that one needs to “understand how it feels when you are rejected and excluded”, that vulnerability includes making the acquaintance with these emotions, too.
The most impressive moment comes towards the end, when Arno recounts how a process of ever growing admittance of his own vulnerability resulted to his grown-up son thanking him for this very fact. “I’m very grateful that you as a father always talked about your vulnerability, you talked openly about problems you have, about fears.” Seeing his father struggle, not always having answers, even tears in his eyes, took pressure from the son’s shoulders. “When the father is imperfect, the son has the permission to be imperfect as well”. This is a refreshing and liberating point of view inspiring viewers to open up – even with their own children.
Biography
I am an enthusiastic Reiki teacher, agile leader and change manager. Collaborating with diverse people is my greatest passion. I have been working for a global player in the insurance market for more than 25 years. I graduated as a Reiki teacher in early 2020 and have already made some wonderful first experiences as teacher with my Reiki I and II seminars in Switzerland, Germany and Austria. I aspire to make Reiki accessible for more people in the business world.
Links
Links Arno Greter’s Webiste: livereiki.ch
References
References Arno Greter quotes Leonard Cohen’s ‘Anthem’: youtu.be/mX2xIW7Oa9c
Liam Casey TED talk ‘Should men be vulnerable? youtu.be/Ex9aq8pFN30
