7 January 2022
RTalk Irritation

A black American Muslim in Japan and a white Swiss agnostic … in itself a potentially irritating picture for some. How relevant are cultural differences when dealing with irritation?

0:00 Introduction and a surprise excursion to Hula dancing – Hula is a graceful art form and language of the heart. But not only: “In ancient times, the men who dance Hula, got such intense training that they were selected to be the warriors in battle.” Strength and hardness as much as warmth and humour can help when dealing with or avoiding confrontation. 

9:07 Anything irritated you today and how did you handle it?

10:14 Accessing harshness and other strategies – Sometimes, suppressing one’s ill feeling is not necessarily the best strategy. A clear announcement may achieve more. Other times, silence may diffuse a situation. “If people have only one option, it becomes reactionary and destructive.”

13:31 Queen Elisabeth II – a fine case study – “It’s really irritating when they talk, but they don’t do.”

16:53 Let’s get personal – When other people are irritating, they’re offering a great opportunity to do self-reflection. Being an irritant to others can open the door for conversation. “Knowing the history of the country and the people and overall, it’s easy to understand when a person may have a reaction to me.”

20:57 Agent provocateur There is a Socratic imperative that one must be willing to be the bearer of bad news in service to the community; that this is a noble calling. “What is truth, what is based on actual fact, not my opinion, not how I feel? As long as I’m standing on facts, then I have no problem expressing unpopular opinion.”

25:09 Vote with your feet – When all has been tried and said, there is always the choice to walk away – both when being irritated or being an irritant. “… I choose to remove myself from that situation because there’s at least hundred and twenty six million people in Japan, seven billion people on the planet.”

31:20 Closing conclusion – Although the two discussants do not shy away from heavy weighing aspects of this ‘loaded’ topic, they do so in mutual respect, warmth and with laughter. The question “What’s my contribution, how come I created this experience in my life?”  is omnipresent when they contemplate ‘irritation’ from many different vantage points.   

Biography

“My name is Muniqui Muhammad ( pronounced “Moo-KNEE-kai”), I was born in Phoenix Arizona in the United States. I have a Bachelors Degree in Spanish from the University of Arizona and I have lived and worked in Japan as an English teacher since 1998.

Reiki found me in 2016 when my future business partner Lena Takahashi told me Reiki would help me grow. As a practicing Muslim, I was skeptical but after receiving my first Reiki session, I knew that this is something I wanted to learn and share-especially with people who did not know Reiki existed. Since then, I trained to Master Teacher Level. I also to become a Reiki Healing Drumming Teacher, a Reiki Sonics (Sound Healing) practitioner and a Spiritual Life Coach with a specialty in Cross Culture Connections.

I also enjoy Hawaiian Hula dancing and all forms of Latin dancing.

I am Co-Founder of Healing Land Reiki with Lena Takahashi and we are committed to providing accurate and useful Reiki information and training.”

Links

Website: healinglandreiki.com
Facebook: facebook.com/healinglandreiki
Instagram: instagram.com/healinglandreiki
Mt. Kurama Visual Tour & Meditation healinglandreiki.com/en/online-store-details/mt-kurama-visual-tour-and-meditation
Personal Instagram: instagram.com/thebrotherintheeast

References

13:40: Queen Elisabeth II ‘irritation’ at world leaders’ climate inaction | ITV News in context with COP26 UN Climate Conference: youtu.be/3aAhtN9kMgI
20:58: Socrates’ quote from Dr. Vanessa Wills (political philosopher, s. vanessawills.com) as presented in politicalphilosopher.net/2016/09/23/featured-philosopher-vanessa-wills

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0:00:01.770,0:00:06.720
Welcome RTalk, the place where we
agree to disagree if we disagree at all.

0:00:07.280,0:00:11.140
Muniqui Muhammad is my guest today.

0:00:11.189,0:00:13.800
Our topic is: 'Irritation'.

0:00:24.899,0:00:27.059
Muniqui, hello. Welcome.

0:00:28.140,0:00:3...
0:00:01.770,0:00:06.720
Welcome RTalk, the place where we
agree to disagree if we disagree at all.

0:00:07.280,0:00:11.140
Muniqui Muhammad is my guest today.

0:00:11.189,0:00:13.800
Our topic is: 'Irritation'.

0:00:24.899,0:00:27.059
Muniqui, hello. Welcome.

0:00:28.140,0:00:30.179
Good greetings to you, René.

0:00:30.269,0:00:31.520
Good afternoon to you.

0:00:32.429,0:00:34.588
You're up somewhere north in Japan.

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Do you have snow yet?

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Actually today was the first day of snow in my city,

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but it's not major snow, just you know, enough
to get to notice that it is that time of the year.

0:00:47.159,0:00:47.860
Good.

0:00:48.740,0:00:53.508
I arrived at a conference here in the mountains
of Switzerland and it has been snowing

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- you might maybe get the impression through the window -

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for the last three days.

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And the ski lifts aren't open yet.

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So, I'm speculating that on the last day of the Congress here,

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they're going to open the ski lift.

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So, I took my ski boots along and who knows?

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It's Switzerland! It’s famous for the mountains
and snow and skiing and all that good stuff.

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But you're up very north in Japan,

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because sometimes people hear Japan and they
instantly think, you know, Yokohama or Tokyo.

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But you're in a smaller village, aren't you?

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Not a village.

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It's a major city.

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It's called Sendai.

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The easiest way to find it, find a map of Japan,

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put your finger right on Tokyo draw and
go straight up and you'll find Sendai.

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It's a big city, but it's has much ....

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it's much more cozier than Tokyo,
in my opinion, and I like it here.

0:01:53.269,0:01:54.049
Very good.

0:01:54.500,0:02:01.560
Let me quickly introduce you to
my guests who may not know you.

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Muniqui is in the northern Japan, as I said.

0:02:07.210,0:02:15.699
He and his partner Lena Takahashi, they have a
Reiki center and it's called the 'Healing Land Reiki'.

0:02:16.540,0:02:25.189
Muniqui grew up, the grandson of an assistant
minister in Islam, the son of a trainer of men.

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Already as a child, he found adult
conversation on topics such as

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'self-involvement' and 'building the will' more
interesting than playing with children his own age.

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He remembers thinking "children are too childish. They waste
their time playing when there are more important things to do".

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And he committed his life to more important things to do.

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That means his passion is to expand awareness,
knowledge and training to communities of colour

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who have not known about the accessibility,
practicality and helpfulness of Reiki.

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In his free time - now it gets interesting -

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Muniqui loves dancing and was a
professional Hula dancer for 10 years.

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He has been doing Latin dancing for 20 years.

0:03:22.219,0:03:29.010
So, Muniqui, I think I wouldn't
want to dance with a professional.

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But do fill me in: what is Hula dancing, please?

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Hula is the language of the heart.

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It is ...

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the way to express yourself with someone is telling,
is saying something with words.

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The dancer is actually telling the story through movement.

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It's a way to harmonize with nature and to express yourself.

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And it's the language of the Hawaiian people.

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It is a very beautiful, not just art form,
but way of communicating and expressing yourself.

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In ancient times, the men who dance Hula,

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their training is so intense, that they
were selected to be the warriors in battle

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because the Hula training is that intense.

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But it's also very graceful, very dynamic, very beautiful.

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And I do appreciate the Hawaiian teachers.

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Aloha to all Kumu Hulas who taught me.

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I appreciate being able to learn from the Hawaiian people.

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Wow, I didn't expect this.

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There was so much warmth and ...

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so much passion.
I just had an RTalk on 'passion'.

0:04:51.180,0:04:53.310
Maybe we should have spoken about ...

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Hula dancing and passionate passions,

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the language of the heart and how that
communicates with the fact that gracefulness

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and warriorship that they are not mutually exclusive.

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Instead of irritation.

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Did I say that rightly? That warrior and ...

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You said it right.

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Because when a person is ... you can be the ...

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you know, all strength type of warrior,

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but the well-rounded type are the people who
can display both strength and grace at the same time,

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where you can see beauty and
technique and refinement.

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These kind of things are what's the difference
between just, you know ....

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some big, hulking bundle of muscle versus
someone who's fine with grace, with style,

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who can balance something on their fingers
and balance something on their fingers

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and like moving like the water at the same time, there's
a strength there that not necessarily everyone knows.

0:06:12.330,0:06:15.910
You can hide your strength and yet still have it.

0:06:16.209,0:06:19.360
That's one thing I learned
when I was doing Hula dancing,

0:06:20.019,0:06:22.808
And I think you're touching on an important point.

0:06:22.810,0:06:28.628
Actually, this is what this Congress is all about.
I mean ... and it has nothing to do with Reiki,

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but it has a lot to do with consciousness

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and that is integrating that capability
in me of strength and hardness

0:06:42.640,0:06:53.110
and even aggression as much as integrating what
people might call the 'soft skills' and things like that.

0:06:54.610,0:07:03.069
And of course, very often people think that when they
integrate the less attractive sides of their personalities ...

0:07:04.870,0:07:10.089
This doesn't mean that we have
to use them, to explore them.

0:07:10.389,0:07:14.560
And in martial arts, one of
the most beautiful things ...

0:07:14.643,0:07:20.740
- I've just had a Karate Reiki student
in my class, and we spoke about that.

0:07:21.150,0:07:28.190
He said very clearly that the best Karate and
martial artist is the one who's never in a fight.

0:07:29.019,0:07:30.430
That is actually true.

0:07:30.513,0:07:33.040
That's actually true, because ...

0:07:34.040,0:07:39.139
it is not learning the martial arts,
it's not about learning them to fight.

0:07:40.069,0:07:41.610
It's about life training.

0:07:41.693,0:07:44.990
It's a life skill, as is Hula dancing.

0:07:45.230,0:07:54.780
I would be perfectly happy to learn the Hula and never
be on stage because it's the training, the life skills.

0:07:55.930,0:08:01.310
In martial arts, when you get so refined in your technique

0:08:02.220,0:08:09.500
that you actually seek to avoid confrontation and
physical encounters that can harm another individual.

0:08:09.680,0:08:15.589
That is a sign of a true master because with
all the different knowledge and skills,

0:08:15.829,0:08:17.950
it will be easy to do something to someone.

0:08:18.070,0:08:19.450
But why would I want to do that?

0:08:19.790,0:08:27.300
When you reach that level of thinking, that's when
you know you're reached a level of mastery in life,

0:08:27.780,0:08:29.530
not just karate, but in life.

0:08:29.899,0:08:30.590
Yeah.

0:08:31.009,0:08:35.720
And I think it's more than just a level
of thinking and a mental attitude.

0:08:35.803,0:08:37.340
I think it's a holistic approach.

0:08:37.610,0:08:43.309
But we are getting very excitedly - I'm
pleased about it - off to a different track.

0:08:43.393,0:08:45.649
We meant to speak about irritation.

0:08:47.090,0:08:51.500
And you know, when I looked up 'irritation'
in preparation for our conversation,

0:08:51.583,0:08:56.269
googled and so on, I found zillions of videos and what have you.

0:08:56.509,0:09:00.259
But they mainly dealt with skin irritation and that kind of thing.

0:09:00.343,0:09:01.490
But that's not ...

0:09:02.929,0:09:06.200
That's not the irritation we mean, don't we?

0:09:07.220,0:09:11.629
So, let me ask you: anything irritated you today?

0:09:13.240,0:09:19.928
Yes, there was some paperwork that I needed to file,
and I had all the documents and everything,

0:09:19.930,0:09:22.330
then when I get to where I was supposed to be,

0:09:22.440,0:09:27.068
the person or people who are supposed
to do it, they were in other meetings

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or they had other plates, they were full of other things.

0:09:30.633,0:09:35.559
And so I took time out of my schedule to go fill out this paperwork.

0:09:36.279,0:09:41.919
But the people were not there to help me to do their part.

0:09:42.150,0:09:43.240
And so that was irritating.

0:09:43.323,0:09:46.419
And so I had to think to myself, do I ...?

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How do I handle it?

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Do I just breathe with it?

0:09:51.453,0:09:53.389
Or do I make a fuss?

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I just chose to breathe with it, because what can I do?

0:09:56.523,0:10:01.330
It's not like, you know, if I would have gotten there earlier,
I wouldn't have had that trouble.

0:10:01.899,0:10:06.279
Fortunately, though, some things worked out
and I was able to get that paperwork done and

0:10:06.730,0:10:09.920
no one got ... no one got spoken to harshly.

0:10:10.790,0:10:12.460
And so everything worked out fine.

0:10:14.259,0:10:22.690
And yet sometimes it is OK to be accessing the
capability of harshness, to pick up on your words.

0:10:22.773,0:10:26.080
Sometimes it's OK to speak.

0:10:27.100,0:10:33.309
I was ... we had a dinner last night,
the whole group, and then there was a

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birthday surprise, which was nice.

0:10:37.269,0:10:38.669
But some of us were tired.

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We wanted to go to bed.

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And the people there took a long time to come with the bill.

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That really irked me, that really irritated me.

0:10:50.260,0:10:55.500
It started irritating me after I told them
the first time and I wasn't irritated, I said:

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"Do you mind if we can already settle the bill before birthday
cakes and things arrive? Then we have dealt with that part."

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And then I waited and waited and waited and waited.

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And that's when the irritation came and I
went to speak and I felt it was a situation,

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there was a lot of turbulence where it was
very useful to speak a very clear word.

0:11:21.653,0:11:24.180
And I actually said to the lady:

0:11:25.140,0:11:29.150
"I'm sorry, but I'm getting very impatient and irritated.

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Please help me and please bring the bill now!"

0:11:33.190,0:11:35.519
And minutes later, it was there.

0:11:35.603,0:11:40.100
So sometimes there are moments
where suppressing your ill feeling

0:11:40.710,0:11:45.150
is not necessarily the best, the best of all strategies, don't you think?

0:11:45.770,0:11:46.830
That is true.

0:11:46.990,0:11:48.220
That's very true.

0:11:48.879,0:11:53.290
But I would say the real trick ... not the real trick.

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The real thing is to learn when to express your irritation and how.

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Because there are different ...

0:12:03.180,0:12:06.360
Timing is important, but also how do you express it.

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If a person only knows one way to express irritation,
they become, it becomes robotic, monotonous.

0:12:16.710,0:12:17.448
But ...

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there are times when you can express your irritation
by simply being silent and looking at the individual.

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And they'll get the message.

0:12:26.810,0:12:28.830
Or ...

0:12:29.800,0:12:39.030
Sometimes the best way to express irritation
is to speak to someone in calm, measured tones.

0:12:39.300,0:12:44.230
René, I think we're not communicating now.

0:12:44.313,0:12:46.358
For example, for example!

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... We are communicating! ... I'm using you as an example.

0:12:51.549,0:12:52.299
For example.

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I'm with you.

0:12:54.383,0:12:56.409
I'm with you, entirely, with you.

0:12:56.810,0:12:58.899
And I think you said an important thing.

0:12:58.983,0:13:03.540
If people have only one way to deal
with it, it becomes reactionary actually.

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It's not no longer a considered
- and I don't mean mentally prepared -

0:13:10.450,0:13:12.930
but a reflected ...

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You're not coming with the right intent
into whatever you're going to do next

0:13:18.970,0:13:26.769
if it is purely a result of a cause and the
one option I have, the one strategy I have,

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I will explode.

0:13:27.653,0:13:28.279
I will ...

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I've found a beautiful example of how to express your irritation.

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Would you like to see it?

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Please, do, please.

0:13:38.523,0:13:39.279
I'd like to see that.

0:13:39.363,0:13:39.989
Yes.

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Do you recognize this lady?

0:13:43.000,0:13:44.590
I've seen her a few times.

0:13:44.673,0:13:45.990
I kind of recognize her.

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She was in a public foyer of a public building and
she knew cameras and reporters were close by.

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Whether or not the Queen intended her words
at the Welsh Parliament yesterday to be heard

0:13:57.610,0:14:00.190
is not clear, Buckingham Palace won't say.

0:14:00.490,0:14:05.470
But we do now know what the Queen thinks of
world leaders who have not yet committed to

0:14:05.553,0:14:08.450
next month's climate change summit. COP26.

0:14:09.820,0:14:13.600
"Extraordinary, isn't it?", she said.
"I've been hearing all about COP.

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Still don't know who's coming.

0:14:15.309,0:14:16.090
No idea."

0:14:17.019,0:14:20.470
She went on: "We only know
about people who are not coming.

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It's really irritating when they talk, but they don't do."

0:14:26.253,0:14:29.140
The conference of Parties or 'COP26' the Queen spoke about

0:14:29.240,0:14:32.980
is the UN Climate Change Summit in Glasgow
at the end of this month.

0:14:33.370,0:14:38.710
The British government is hosting the world and the
Queen will attend along with other senior royals.

0:14:40.059,0:14:48.290
So, I found this a rather amusing way how the
Queen found a way to deal with her irritation.

0:14:49.400,0:14:54.965
Oh yeah, the Queen has ... especially at her age,

0:14:54.967,0:14:59.787
she has experienced multiple ways of expressing irritation.

0:15:00.473,0:15:03.250
But also ... why she says she's irritated.

0:15:03.333,0:15:07.600
She's irritated because of people who say but they don't do.

0:15:08.289,0:15:13.659
And that is one of the many different causes of irritation.

0:15:14.529,0:15:21.519
And just to be honest, and sometimes I
personally sometimes get irritated

0:15:21.603,0:15:24.259
with myself, sometimes I'm like,
I know how to do this.

0:15:25.149,0:15:25.840
I didn't do it.

0:15:26.370,0:15:31.960
Oh, and so it's sometimes self-irritation,
it's another form of irritation.

0:15:32.409,0:15:40.200
But the Queen was referring to other people,
and it's always a good time to self-reflect

0:15:40.300,0:15:48.669
when you are being irritated by other people
or when you yourself are a source of irritation.

0:15:49.269,0:15:52.269
That's a good time to be reflective.

0:15:52.750,0:15:54.669
And I strive to do that myself.

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You know, I don't always succeed, but I try.

0:15:57.789,0:15:58.960
Well, join the club.

0:16:01.990,0:16:08.590
Interesting because that means when other
people are irritating you, they're basically

0:16:08.919,0:16:12.220
giving you a great opportunity to do some self-reflection, aren't they?

0:16:13.000,0:16:13.730
Yes.

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They don't always succeed.

0:16:17.289,0:16:18.970
I don't always get the hint.

0:16:19.450,0:16:23.649
But the times when I do, because sometimes
you have to take a deep breath.

0:16:24.610,0:16:27.850
Oh, OK, how do I handle this?

0:16:28.240,0:16:30.669
There's new ways of handling this. And ...

0:16:32.210,0:16:36.590
It's always important to be able to think quickly on your feet.

0:16:37.340,0:16:40.510
It's easy to deal with things when you're not irritated.

0:16:40.640,0:16:44.708
It's when you're irritated and when you're experiencing irritation,

0:16:44.710,0:16:46.929
you really see what's inside of a person.

0:16:47.013,0:16:48.169
How you handle it.

0:16:49.139,0:16:51.080
And you know, we all have those days.

0:16:51.169,0:16:52.669
Some days are better than others.

0:16:53.179,0:16:58.130
Well, let me get a little personal here since we're amongst us here.

0:16:59.809,0:17:01.220
You're a black man.

0:17:01.303,0:17:02.840
You're in Japan.

0:17:03.970,0:17:07.640
You have an Islam background.

0:17:08.000,0:17:08.625
I mean,

0:17:10.039,0:17:15.829
if irritation needs a few labels,
here are three for many people.

0:17:17.180,0:17:21.760
So, and you in Japan must have felt, of course.

0:17:21.920,0:17:27.190
I've been many times in Japan and
I know how Japanese people are

0:17:27.320,0:17:33.650
and very often and most of the time, I'm
sure, you're facing a lot of curiosity,

0:17:33.769,0:17:41.690
you're facing good natured probing and
sometimes for us, Westerners amazing openness

0:17:42.349,0:17:48.529
when Japanese people approach us more exotic individuals.

0:17:48.799,0:17:53.950
But it must have happened to you with the three labels I used, forgive me.

0:17:55.690,0:17:56.809
You must have ...

0:17:57.049,0:17:58.190
How do you deal with that?

0:17:58.273,0:18:05.190
When you can feel the racism, the
discrimination about your religious background

0:18:05.470,0:18:13.039
the bias people have, when they speak to you
and you can sense that you're ...

0:18:15.080,0:18:17.240
you're creating irritation in them?

0:18:17.539,0:18:19.810
How do you cope with that?

0:18:21.740,0:18:28.220
I learned how to cope by first understanding who I'm speaking to.

0:18:29.340,0:18:36.000
Knowing the history of the country and of the Japanese people and overall,

0:18:36.870,0:18:43.259
knowing that I live in an area that has
not experienced many non-Asian faces,

0:18:45.140,0:18:50.640
it's easy to understand when a person may have a reaction to me.

0:18:51.020,0:18:53.360
I quite literally understand.

0:18:54.350,0:18:56.220
They just simply haven't had the experience.

0:18:56.303,0:18:58.590
And so they're only doing what they know.

0:18:58.670,0:19:00.319
And so I keep that in mind.

0:19:00.650,0:19:04.500
And sometimes, you know, I just turn I play a little joke on them,

0:19:04.650,0:19:09.670
because if I say a Japanese word ... "Konichiwa"

0:19:10.750,0:19:13.560
They immediately realize: "Oh, your Japanese is so good".

0:19:14.160,0:19:16.130
I say: "So is yours!"

0:19:17.040,0:19:20.440
And then they start laughing and they say: "Oh, well, I live here in Japan."

0:19:20.630,0:19:21.530
"So do I."

0:19:23.029,0:19:24.710
You know, so do I.

0:19:25.829,0:19:33.569
And so, I just look at it as sometimes people
are only expressing what they know.

0:19:34.589,0:19:40.000
And knowing that, it helps me to be patient.

0:19:41.259,0:19:44.300
It helps me to be patient with them and
helping others, because

0:19:44.850,0:19:47.650
I look at it as they're asking.

0:19:47.733,0:19:49.380
So that's the key.

0:19:49.450,0:19:52.470
Their door is actually opened by they're asking,

0:19:52.740,0:19:54.409
So what am I going to do?

0:19:54.492,0:20:00.059
Am I going to put in a friendly seed that may
grow to a nice tree for someone else later?

0:20:00.299,0:20:05.519
Or am I going to put a harsh brick that will
close the door to the person's heart?

0:20:06.119,0:20:07.589
And I like to try.

0:20:07.980,0:20:11.900
Don't always succeed, but I like to try to ...

0:20:12.230,0:20:16.630
do things that will help people long time after me.

0:20:16.720,0:20:24.680
So, I try to not really take the irritation, but
there are people who generally have biases.

0:20:25.820,0:20:32.759
And ... knowledge, properly applied knowledge
helps to clear away those biases.

0:20:34.759,0:20:40.403
Yeah, that's a ... noble ...

0:20:40.405,0:20:43.460
that's noble what you're saying, and I'm happy to hear

0:20:43.543,0:20:46.789
that you're also saying, I don't always succeed in this.

0:20:51.210,0:20:53.150
You know, I think that ...

0:20:57.420,0:21:02.190
Agent provocateur is an expression which just came to my mind.

0:21:02.355,0:21:10.170
Sometimes to be an irritant is actually a noble ... a noble presence.

0:21:11.190,0:21:18.420
And in fact, I've prepared I just remembered what Socrates said about this.

0:21:19.380,0:21:31.250
He said: "I was attached to this city as upon a
noble horse, which needed to be stirred by a gadfly.

0:21:32.190,0:21:43.079
I never cease to rouse to persuade and reproach you, my people,
everywhere and always. I find myself in your company."

0:21:44.640,0:21:51.190
So this is like 400 before Christ, two and a half thousand years ago,

0:21:51.870,0:21:58.490
and this sentence is somewhat of a cornerstone for many philosophers

0:21:58.840,0:22:09.290
who are saying, we need to speak truth, uncomfortable truths
in the knowledge that we are making ourselves unpopular.

0:22:10.440,0:22:11.970
And you know what they're saying?

0:22:12.269,0:22:15.509
The first person who gets shot is the bearer of news.

0:22:17.039,0:22:21.990
So, rooted in this thought of Socrates,

0:22:22.799,0:22:30.150
there is a way - and I personally ...
in my personal life, I've often felt

0:22:30.430,0:22:36.539
that I played this role, that I was a catalyst for reactions in others.

0:22:36.960,0:22:40.740
Now, I like probably you and probably the rest of humanity,

0:22:41.039,0:22:49.859
we all are individuals who at the heart of hearts want
to be loved and want to be embraced and respected.

0:22:50.460,0:22:57.029
But to be the bearer of ill news occasionally is not
the place where you're making yourself popular.

0:22:57.329,0:23:02.758
So, I was with my question and with my cheekiness

0:23:02.760,0:23:12.890
to not let an elephant stand in the room,
of you being a black man, being of Muslim descent,

0:23:13.120,0:23:15.330
by voicing this I wanted ...

0:23:15.960,0:23:18.930
Some of the viewers may have been irritated by that

0:23:19.050,0:23:24.539
because it's border-case of political correctness to speak like that.

0:23:26.220,0:23:34.680
And when you are that irritant, when you are
the bearer of bad news and when you fail to

0:23:34.763,0:23:43.349
come from that noble spot you have
described, what do you make of your ...

0:23:46.130,0:23:56.539
of your role in such moments where you are obviously a catalyst
for bias or even a bearer of news, which is unpopular.

0:23:57.559,0:24:04.250
First of all, I always strive to come from
the standpoint of view (that) is:

0:24:05.349,0:24:13.089
What is truth, what is based on actual fact,
not my opinion, not how I feel,

0:24:13.269,0:24:14.829
what's the actual facts?

0:24:15.800,0:24:23.830
As long as I'm standing on the actual facts, then
I have no problem expressing unpopular opinion.

0:24:24.540,0:24:25.500
And ...

0:24:26.620,0:24:32.769
if I have to, I have to force the issue because
when you're standing on the facts ...

0:24:34.269,0:24:35.049
then ...

0:24:36.810,0:24:42.369
No one else has anything else to really to argue with,
except for the things that are not factual.

0:24:42.549,0:24:48.279
And I just ... when people are trying to do
that with me I just try to remind them:

0:24:50.170,0:24:53.599
Number one, let's stick to the facts.

0:24:54.650,0:24:56.470
Because number two,

0:24:58.110,0:24:58.918
When we ...

0:24:58.920,0:25:00.650
There's no reason for you to be irritated.

0:25:00.950,0:25:02.359
I'm the one who's irritated.

0:25:02.750,0:25:05.119
I'm trying to help you to help me.

0:25:06.529,0:25:09.869
I would appreciate it if we could have some cooperation here.

0:25:09.953,0:25:17.230
And sometimes if they don't, well, then I just simply
have to remove myself from that situation and cause.

0:25:19.970,0:25:23.680
I choose where to go and where to be.

0:25:24.980,0:25:36.890
I do not choose to be around people or places that find
my personage irritating and they are tolerating me.

0:25:36.970,0:25:40.190
Because I don't do that to others,
and I don't expect them do that to me.

0:25:40.350,0:25:49.250
So, I choose if they are being very irritating
to myself and I'm feeling irritation.

0:25:49.700,0:25:53.080
Well, then I choose to remove myself from that situation because

0:25:53.200,0:25:59.450
there's at least hundred and twenty six million people
in Japan alone, seven billion people on the planet.

0:25:59.839,0:26:00.650
I don't have to ...

0:26:00.769,0:26:03.319
I choose my space.

0:26:04.039,0:26:08.180
And the Earth is a big place.

0:26:08.569,0:26:12.358
So if this place over here is irritating,

0:26:12.360,0:26:14.620
well, I'll go over here.

0:26:15.550,0:26:18.500
You know, and move on and leave them be.

0:26:18.890,0:26:26.220
Because ... if my presence is causing them irritation,
ok, fine, I'll remove myself.

0:26:26.303,0:26:32.460
But if their presence is causing irritation, it's like, hey ...
there's a parting of the ways here.

0:26:33.559,0:26:35.119
You go your way and I go mine.

0:26:35.900,0:26:36.525
Yeah.

0:26:38.059,0:26:43.160
Interesting, because I have recently been in situations

0:26:43.330,0:26:51.109
where with all goodwill to collaborate and to ... do the right thing ...

0:26:52.730,0:27:02.569
Well, first of all, it created what I call a dissonance
- a copout word for fight or disagreement.

0:27:06.829,0:27:12.740
And first of all, I wanted to say, I think
it's valuable and I hear that from you also

0:27:13.250,0:27:20.460
that when there is a situation where there is
what seems to be an unsolvable dispute

0:27:21.400,0:27:24.410
that I ask myself, what's my contribution in this?

0:27:25.579,0:27:29.839
How come I created this experience in my life?

0:27:31.250,0:27:34.150
I found that recently very powerful.

0:27:34.233,0:27:39.470
Also talking to other people, to organizations like where I am now,

0:27:40.190,0:27:48.829
when there is a dissonance to ask, OK, it's easy
to pinpoint the catalysts that which went wrong.

0:27:49.549,0:27:52.910
It's easy to pinpoint people and the problem.

0:27:54.049,0:27:59.510
But let's take a step back and ask ourselves ...

0:28:01.400,0:28:04.030
how come I'm part of this?

0:28:04.099,0:28:12.259
Where did I take a decision to go that way,
where I'm landing now, where I am now?

0:28:12.799,0:28:19.640
And in that situation, if it's clear that
I am co-responsible for my own experience,

0:28:20.029,0:28:24.020
that helps me and has helped recently a number of other people

0:28:24.130,0:28:27.260
to then come and do exactly what you said:

0:28:27.670,0:28:32.000
be conscious of the fact I'm walking on my own two feet.

0:28:32.509,0:28:35.309
And if the situation is unbearable,

0:28:36.170,0:28:39.619
one of the choices I do have is walk away from it.

0:28:40.950,0:28:41.640
It is.

0:28:41.723,0:28:42.529
That's true.

0:28:42.829,0:28:46.970
It's also difficult because emotions are involved.

0:28:47.390,0:28:53.500
And when our hearts are involved, sometimes we want to ...

0:28:53.690,0:28:56.390
well, for lack of better terms, stay and fight.

0:28:56.520,0:29:02.569
Not that it is physical, but stay and continue
to have an argument or a discussion

0:29:02.839,0:29:05.809
because we feel passionate about the topic.

0:29:06.470,0:29:07.095
But.

0:29:09.019,0:29:13.880
There are times when we have ... I personally
... and I can't speak for other people,

0:29:13.963,0:29:15.529
but I choose to ask myself.

0:29:18.049,0:29:23.299
What would be the purpose of me staying in this discussion?

0:29:25.359,0:29:29.259
Am I trying to change the other person's mind?

0:29:29.380,0:29:31.119
What's the benefit to myself?

0:29:31.203,0:29:32.710
What's the benefit to them?

0:29:33.369,0:29:36.759
Is it worth it to that person?

0:29:36.843,0:29:38.079
Is it worth it to myself?

0:29:38.349,0:29:40.720
Is it worth to the people who are listening?

0:29:41.140,0:29:43.599
And if the answer is no, then you know what?

0:29:44.650,0:29:47.109
I respect myself ...

0:29:49.329,0:29:50.349
enough to say:

0:29:51.960,0:29:52.585
You ...

0:29:53.009,0:29:59.970
You're more than ... you, sir or ma'am, you
can have your ideas. That is totally fine.

0:30:00.450,0:30:01.890
I will go over here.

0:30:02.099,0:30:03.809
Now, do we do it all the time?

0:30:03.893,0:30:04.519
Of course not.

0:30:04.602,0:30:05.228
I mean ...

0:30:05.369,0:30:06.839
But the point is,

0:30:07.910,0:30:10.840
it's something that I strive to practice,

0:30:11.830,0:30:15.410
don't always succeed, but strive to practice it because

0:30:15.720,0:30:17.450
it's easy to do on social media.

0:30:18.170,0:30:22.230
Some person is deliberately choosing to
misrepresent your words or something.

0:30:22.320,0:30:23.970
Ok, well, thank you very much.

0:30:24.053,0:30:24.679
Have a nice day.

0:30:24.910,0:30:25.535
OK.

0:30:26.400,0:30:31.500
They're trying to goad you sometimes.
They're trying to trying to irritate you.

0:30:32.099,0:30:36.290
Well, it's my choice if ...

0:30:36.460,0:30:43.259
person X may be trying to irritate me, but that doesn't
mean that I have to go along with the program.

0:30:43.890,0:30:45.240
I just choose not to.

0:30:45.450,0:30:46.075
OK.

0:30:46.589,0:30:49.230
You can think that, but ... see you then.

0:30:51.770,0:30:54.050
It's easy to see on social media.

0:30:54.880,0:31:01.930
Yeah, I quite agree with you and this is one
reason why these RTalks are not edited.

0:31:02.589,0:31:05.589
They're either broadcast or they're not being broadcast.

0:31:07.930,0:31:10.000
I find that very valuable.

0:31:10.083,0:31:15.760
People can hear you and me, they can hear
from the horse's mouth, so to speak,

0:31:16.170,0:31:19.029
what you and I said in conversation with each other.

0:31:20.710,0:31:22.069
And we're coming to an end.

0:31:22.539,0:31:27.349
This has been, you know, one of the things
I enjoyed talking to you

0:31:27.433,0:31:28.809
there was always so much warmth,

0:31:30.400,0:31:33.390
humanity, so much closeness.

0:31:33.473,0:31:34.630
We don't know each other.

0:31:35.329,0:31:43.930
I've spoken twice to you online so far, and I always
felt that we had a lot of fun also talking to each other.

0:31:44.529,0:31:46.750
A lot of humor, which is important to you.

0:31:47.140,0:31:52.059
So how do you feel and maybe some closing words for our viewers, please?

0:31:53.089,0:31:58.970
First, I want to say thank you, René, for the
opportunity to have this conversation.

0:32:00.680,0:32:12.200
To me, it's necessary and I'm just going to strive to be a better person.

0:32:12.890,0:32:17.329
And if I'm not, don't get irritated with me.

0:32:17.920,0:32:20.839
... don't get irritated with me.

0:32:21.410,0:32:23.299
I'm a work in progress.

0:32:24.619,0:32:27.380
Oh, what a beautiful closing.

0:32:27.980,0:32:35.700
And I think there are very few people out there
who cannot put their signature on this sentence:

0:32:35.783,0:32:37.160
I'm a work in progress.

0:32:37.369,0:32:39.170
I certainly subscribe to that.

0:32:39.529,0:32:42.650
I thank you very much for this wonderful conversation.

0:32:43.400,0:32:44.660
Have a good night's sleep.

0:32:44.743,0:32:46.160
It's late in Japan now.

0:32:46.243,0:32:46.869
Bye-bye.

0:32:47.359,0:32:47.985
Take care.

0:32:48.069,0:32:48.694
Bye-bye, René.

0:32:49.099,0:32:51.769
Bye-bye, Muniqui. I very much appreciated it.

0:32:53.390,0:32:55.609
Dear viewers, thank you for watching.

0:32:55.819,0:32:59.089
I hope you will join us again in three weeks time.

0:32:59.390,0:33:02.779
Subscribe if you like and bye-bye for tonight.

0:33:05.593,0:33:08.407
English Subtitels: René Vögtli

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